the deluded informer
-serving you news on a bent platter is our thing-

October 14th, 1998 -Issue 1, Version 1-

Ugly Girl has "great personality"
Local area girl Jayne Weatherspoon, pictured right, has been reported to be a "very kind, nice person."She also happens, coincidentally, to be hideously ugly. Her apparent ugliness doesn't seem to affect her kind disposition, which is quite odd. MORE:

Recent Study Shows: God doesn't Exist
Researchers at Stanford University have stumbled upon a new discovery: "God doesn't fucking exist". They came to this conclusion after praying to God in an experiment spanning several months, in which they prayed around the clock, waiting for an answer. MORE:
Right: woman praying to a God that simply doesn't exist.

Plato read for personal enjoyment
Local authorities are baffled by a recent occurence at the Gasp� CEGEP library, in which Plato's "The Republic" was taken out for personal enjoyment". "We just don't understand it: the youth in question didn't have to read it, he just wanted to!", said Ednus Tyney, local librarian of 20 years. MORE:

Nerds discover secret of "coolness"
In a discovery that has shocked and amazed nerds everywhere, the secret of "coolness" has falleninto their greasy, grubby, computer-using hands. This happened Tuesday, the 13th of October, during a ceremonial "wedgie"being performed by Ed and his gang. MORE:

Commentary:I want to get in her pants

Survey:Should Kevin Bacon be killed?
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